I thought making an e-book illustration would be easy after watching a few videos

Buying a tablet was only the start of the headache

I honestly thought that if I just bought a decent drawing tablet, the rest would fall into place. I spent about 450,000 won on a mid-range Wacom tablet because everyone online seemed to agree it was the standard. For a couple of weeks, I just stared at the blank screen in Adobe Illustrator. It is wild how different the interface is compared to the simple photo editing I used to do. I downloaded a few free trial versions of other programs, thinking they might be more intuitive, but I ended up coming back to Illustrator simply because there were more tutorials for it. The learning curve for just understanding how layers work without making my file size explode was steeper than I expected.

The endless rabbit hole of perspective and tools

I tried following a specific tutorial on landscapes to get a feel for the tools. The instructor made it look like it took ten minutes to draw a mountain range, but it took me four hours just to get the perspective right. My lines looked shaky, and every time I tried to use the pen tool, I felt like I was fighting the software. It’s annoying because you know exactly what you want the image to look like in your head, but your hands and the software just refuse to cooperate. I started searching for free illustration sites to see how others layered their colors, but that just made me feel more discouraged. It’s strange how something that looks so effortless in a Bob Ross video or a professional gallery display can feel so rigid and frustrating when you are sitting in a cramped chair at 2 AM.

Trying to make things look like actual art

I read about some local exhibitions in Nonsan, like the youth art displays at the Nonsan Cultural Center, and it made me wonder if I was even moving in the right direction. Those artists have a style; they have a voice. I’m just trying to make an e-book cover that doesn’t look like a ten-year-old drew it on a napkin. I spent a long time looking at AI-generated content just to see if I could use it as a base, but that felt like cheating, or maybe just another layer of complexity. The more I looked into how professionals work with digital fashion or specialized character design, the more I realized that my interest in ‘just making a quick illustration’ was a bit naive. The technical requirements for getting a file ready for print are quite annoying to learn if you don’t have a background in graphic design.

Digital vs traditional feelings

There is a weird lack of tactile feedback with a digital stylus that I still haven’t gotten used to. I’ve been practicing for about three months now, usually doing an hour before work or on weekends. Some nights I feel like I’m finally catching on, and other nights I just close the program because the undo button feels like my best friend and my worst enemy at the same time. I considered taking a class at one of those adult art studios I saw online, where they mention things like polymer clay or iPad drawing for side projects, but I’m not sure if I want to commit the time or the extra tuition fees yet.

Why I am still hovering over the delete key

I have a folder on my desktop now with about thirty files that are all ‘WIP’ or ‘Final_Version_2.’ None of them are truly final. I find myself looking at industry news—like how regulatory bodies are monitoring digital markets or how AI is shifting the landscape of illustration—and I wonder if I’m learning a skill that’s going to be completely automated in two years anyway. Even so, there’s this specific, stubborn satisfaction when a line finally connects the way I want it to. I don’t think I’ll be an illustrator by trade anytime soon, but I haven’t quite convinced myself to quit yet either. I just keep opening the same software, closing it, and waiting for a burst of motivation that never seems to stay for long.