I spent way too much time worrying about the color palette

Getting lost in the menus again

I sat down at my desk around 9 PM last Tuesday, convinced I was finally going to finish that digital illustration I’ve been putting off for weeks. You know how it is. You open Adobe Illustrator, look at the blank white canvas, and suddenly the actual drawing part feels secondary to picking the perfect background tone. I spent about forty minutes just clicking through different color palettes. I kept telling myself that I needed the right vibe, but really, I was just procrastinating because I was scared the drawing wouldn’t turn out like the ones I saw in that student exhibition at the Korea University of Media and Arts—the LAYER 13th show. Those students seem to have such a clear sense of purpose with their character designs and game illustrations. Meanwhile, I’m just staring at my screen, wondering why my lines look so shaky compared to what I see online.

The reality of my messy layers

Organization is supposed to be the key to digital art, right? That’s what every tutorial on those illustration sites tells you. But my file structure is a nightmare. I have layers named ‘copy’, ‘copy 2’, and ‘final_real_final_fixed’. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I’ve lost track of where my primary shapes are half the time. It took me a solid hour just to realize I’d been working on the wrong layer for the shading. It’s annoying when the technology is supposed to help, but you end up spending more energy managing the software than actually being creative. I read an article the other day about an AI-generated poster for a concert, and it made me wonder if I should even be struggling with these anchor points manually. If someone else is just clicking a button to get a polished result, does my manual labor even count for anything anymore?

Copying is a trap I almost fell into

There was this news clip I saw about a brand that got into trouble for copying a Japanese dessert packaging design. It was a good reminder, though it was painful to watch. The article mentioned the font spacing and the specific illustrations on the package. It made me paranoid about my own work. I keep looking at my own sketches and wondering, ‘Did I accidentally mimic someone else’s style too closely?’ It’s so easy to subconsciously pick up patterns from Pinterest or Instagram. I pay about 30,000 won a month for my software subscription, and for that price, you’d think I’d have an original idea pop into my head instantly. Instead, I find myself checking the color codes over and over just to make sure I’m not hitting that line between ‘inspired by’ and ‘straight-up plagiarized.’

The frustration of the pen tool

I still haven’t mastered the pen tool after all this time. It feels like I’m fighting the computer every single night. I remember looking into illustration certifications, thinking maybe a formal curriculum would help me understand the basics better. But then I see these kids using tablets and these educational programs for kids—like the ones that combine digital and offline learning—and they seem to pick it up so fast. It feels like I’m constantly lagging behind the industry standards. Every time I try to do something simple, like an infographic, I end up spending three hours just trying to align a few rectangles. The time just vanishes. I’ll look at the clock and suddenly it’s midnight, and I’ve barely finished the base layer.

Why I keep coming back to the screen

Despite the annoyance of the software and the constant doubt about whether my work is actually any good, I keep coming back to it. Maybe it’s just the process of turning a blank void into something that looks like it has depth. Even if my shading is mediocre and my file management is a disaster, there’s this weird satisfaction in seeing the final export. I haven’t figured out if I’m getting better or if I’m just getting better at hiding my mistakes. I don’t know if I’ll ever be a ‘poster designer’ or someone who does this professionally, but for now, the screen is the only place where I can control the chaos. I suppose I’ll try again tomorrow, maybe with a different color palette, hoping it makes everything look like it belongs together.